Beyond Debate

A couple of days ago I was setting up shop in a new, semi-swanky McDonalds (seriously). As I pulled my laptop out of my backpack, an older gentleman next to me asked if I were a student. After sharing with him what I do, he respectfully replied, "I envy you." His reason: "Because you believe in all that angel stuff." To make a long story short, he testified to his atheism and how he envied me because he wished that he could believe in God, but can't. The reason: Christianity is not intellectually credible. To my religious flesh, those were fighting words! And after dialoging about origins and the historical nature of the biblical record, I became convicted. Even though he probably couldn't tell, I found myself wanting to win the debate. I realized that my need to be right was stronger than my desire or ability to empathetically listen to his objections and sincerely understand his doubts. As he spoke, rather than listening well, I was formulating my next line of argumentation. Ugh! I was not living by grace, but out of self-righteous pride. So what am I to do? How will I handle it next time?  I may try to win again, but I hope not. My prayer is that when I sit beside him again, I will not see an opponent, but a fellow sinner, who not only needs grace to see the reality of God, but also to see the beauty, wonder, and power of the gospel—the kind of beauty, wonder, and power that enables a prideful and impatient Christian to care as much about grace as he does about truth (since truth without grace really isn't truth... just as grace without truth really isn't grace).