Gospel-Consciousness

Why am I so self-conscious? Why am I so concerned what others think about me? Why do I let the opinions of others so profoundly influence my words and actions. Why am I a different person around different people? Why can't I be real?These questions help me realize that I understand what it would have been like to have been a Pharisee in the first century, for whom image was everything.

In Matthew 23:5, Jesus says something about the heart of a Pharisee that I find deeply convicting.

"Everything they do is done for men to see."

It is sickening (but liberating, too!) to admit it, but I am a praise monger, wanting people to bask in the glory of my (imagined) greatness. Of course, that is the flesh at work. But the Spirit is creating a hunger in my heart—a longing to be real.

And so the Holy Spirit graciously invites me to trade my self-consciousness in for a gospel-consciousness. Yes, in myself, I am an insecure orphan. But in Jesus, I am a dearly loved son. In myself, I am weak. But in Jesus, I am strong. In myself, I am a condemned sinner who wears masks attempting to cover up the ugliness of my inner sin (including the insecurity and pride). But in Jesus, I am declared righteous, and now it is safe to be real. As Tim Keller, says, "I am more sinful than I would ever be able to admit, but at the same time, in Jesus, I am more forgiven, more loved, and more accepted than I could ever dare to dream!" Yes, it is that kind of gospel-consciousness that will dispel my self-consciousness by enabling me to be real by (1) taking off my mask and (2) basking in the glory of God's grace to me in Jesus.